28 February 2011

writing

Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

Um, work? Take care of a two-year old? Can't eliminate either of those two, but I can get off of Facebook for a bloody 30 minutes and write. I think I've been avoiding writing to an extent because I've been shy about expression. Still shielding, still protecting, still editing to some extent so as not to draw attention to myself, so as not to offend. Ooohhh that's a rich one. Who knew this prompt would turn out to be so rich. I'm so afraid to offend people! Even though I do it, probably more regularly than I even realize.

It's not just that I'm afraid to offend people, per se. I'm afraid to offend certain people. Certain manifestations of my dad, if we want to be really deep and really honest with it. Not my dad himself, let's be clear. But there are people in the world, today, who remind childhood Amelia of her little girl relationship with her dad, which by all accounts was good but had its scary moments. Little Amelia is still in there, she's still scared. Maybe through my writing I can stand by her and tell her it's okay to tell the whole truth, and that no one is going to hurt or scare her if she uses her voice and speaks or writes her own truth. Authentic voice.

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

3 comments:

  1. tell her it's okay to tell the whole truth, and that no one is going to hurt or scare her if she uses her voice and speaks or writes her own truth

    I've been learning lately that sometimes people do get hurt when I speak my truth. But if I'm coming from a place of caring and honesty, it's important for me to not pull back. I'm shaky, panic-y, scared, but have managed to muscle through it.

    The result (so far) has been either a deepened relationship, or the knowledge that the other person can't or won't try to see my perspective and/or care enough to work through my challenge. This hurts me, a lot lot lot.

    Figuring out what to do about this information is my latest challenge, but at least I am clear.

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  2. you're brave, G. keep standing by lower-case g so she can get what she wants and needs, or at least feel brave in asking for it. hard, isn't it?! but so worth it.

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