08 October 2010

love dreams

Last night I had a love dream. About Bryant Terry. I don't know if you'll ever read this, Bryant, but I feel comfortable calling you out by name because it's not like I really want to be in love with you or try to steal you away from your gorgeous new wife. And I think you were flitting around my subconscious because I watched a PBS special called Endless Feast about the Red Hook Farm and Fort Greene with you in it. Even in the dream I said, "Aren't you married?" And you said, "Yes."

Anyways, yes he's damn fine.

The POINT is that I have to tell someone that I have love dreams. I don't have sex dreams. I have these rapturous heterosexual love dreams where the person I'm with either holds my hand or cuddles me or picks me up and spins me around. They are some of the most fulfilling and joyous feelings I may have ever had. Someday I will experience them consciously and intentionally. But ultimately what it shows me is that all of the love that I ever wanted or could ask for is in me. I can create it, I can receive it and bask in it. It's there, waiting to come out. When I'm ready it will.

Thank you bell hooks. Thank you John Welwood.

1 comment:

  1. you know what amelia? you have enlightened me. i have never taken into account the notion that anything i accomplish in a dream is potential energy that i should be assured i can use to execute that goal in reality. i love this idea. i LOVE it.