unmixed attention: what if I am Uncle Charlie?

...except he's still alive. And we're happy about that, we are.

And Snoop was in my dream last night, looking like this:

I've been considering the fact that I viscerally love, I mean adore, funk and disco from the 70's with no real inspiration for doing so (my parents did NOT listen to disco... except for the Bee Gees). I am thinking that perhaps in my most recent past incarnation I

may have been a disco dancer of some kind. And I'm thinking I was a guy because of how difficult it is for me to follow in partner dance. I am hell-bent on leading. This one time I went salsa dancing and as I was apologizing to the guy I was dancing with for fighting his lead, he said in his sexy Spanish accent, "Das okay, jou just need to be brokeng, like a horse." I was shocked and in love at the same time. I could only agree. He was even wearing Wranglers.

Anyway, who knows. These are the important things that float through my mind, even when I'm not fasting (yes, I'm still doing it... three days).

Speaking of which, here is an interesting take on the idea of Lent as a time not to deny or 'give up' but instead to 'make space,' to 'listen to emptiness for a while.' Yes. Precisely.

And then the idea of making space reminded me of this little thing I wrote last summer, which was less something that actually came from my mind or heart and more something that was a direct transmission. That's how I used to write my papers in college. Not so much about copious research, outlines, and editing, but just wait until 3 am for the direct transmission and somehow it got written.

Here is the note (I am also including the comments because they make me feel good and are affirmation for continuing to write what I think even though it makes me want to swoon):

leave room for god

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 at 4:01pm

so i was watching this maxwell video that comes with the iTunes download, and he's talking about his personal and therefore musical evolution over the course of the past years that he's been out of the public eye. he was discussing the live show he's developed with his band, communicating the understanding that it doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to be precious, it can be a little dirty, it shoudn't be learned too well, and to "leave room for god."

i stopped the video. the concept hit me like the needles of a big fresh beach wave.

i've heard the term before. i've used it on strangers who have sidled up too close to me in public places, like the ruler the nuns would wedge between seventh graders at the catholic school dance, as if god was only twelve inches wide. but woah.

i don't believe in god-with-a-big-white-beard-in-the-sky, so you can substitute whatever word you like, you can take the "o" out of the middle, you can capitalize it, you can add -dess at the end, you do you.

but wow. leave room for god.

leave room for god in music so that the notes play you instead. so that god moves in the spaces between the lines of the melody and breathes literal inspiration into the musician as divine medium. oracle.

leave room for god in yoga so that you have space to breathe and move and stay.

leave room for god in your relationships, don't hold so tight that you squeeze the god out of the other person. god will float between you, strong complete individuals.

leave room for the god between you and your child, so that which created can continue to connect and nourish while stretching sometimes miles and miles. leave room for the god in your child that she or he may find it and radiate it.

leave room for god in your life's calling so that you can be --- do --- have [as they say] in that order.

leave room for the god on the bus, under your feet, in the rain, in the most mundane places and at the taj mahal.

leave room for god as you witness those loosening their hold on this life and know that they have to go alone but they'll never be alone.

leave room for god and you can only be safe.

Aqiylah Collins, Radiant Jasmin, Vanessa Guzman and 3 others like this.